Its been a year... WOW!

I cannot believe it has literally been a year since I posted to this blog. That is a shame really because I should have spent more time dedicating myself to educating the public about Multiple Sclerosis and the many faces it has, but I have spent this whole year doing a lot of things... one thing in particular, being HEALTHY!!!

I am not posting to brag, but to celebrate. I have said from the very beginning that this for me is a journey. My life has taken many alternate routes to the one that I think was originally planned for me but I am so grateful to be where I am today. My disease has taken a back seat. I am seeing well, with correction, I am regaining my energy more and more and I am almost completely medication free. :-) Who really could ask for more!!

Last year I took clean eating very seriously and noticed immediate dramatic improvements to my overall health. My main eye doctors, Dr. Medlock & Dr. Lane had surgically and medically done about everything they could do to clear up my vision. So after much research and discussion I decided to submit to treat my body from the inside out through diet and healthy living. One of the major components to this was that I was on a TON of meds and those had as many negative side effects as they did positive outcomes. My doctors were willing to take risks since I was. I began to basically quit meds one at a time and "see what happened".  When I lost my vision in the beginning, I was put on several meds "just in case". Since I had extremem inflammation and the chronic bleed it was assumed I would have headaches. So I took meds for that. But... I didn't have headaches after all.  It was also assumed that the steroids I had been taking for over a year were managing my inflammation. However when I quit taking them my inflammation did not and has not returned! Of course this is not and may not be the case for everyone, but it became evident that my body was not dependent upon these meds any longer for my MS to stay quiet. I have not had a flare up or relapse since January of 2012. I am also eating a pretty normal diet now and no changes other than energy levels have been effected. However, I think that is consistant with any person.

So what have I been doing? Well, I have been busy in love & life. I accepted a new job in August of 2012 and moved back to White Hall. In October I became engaged and Matt and I were married on January 19, 2013.  We blended our families and bought a new home just this past month! We are so excited to have been blessed with the opportunity to own this home and the land surrounding it. :) We are falling in love with the home more and more as we make it our own! Luke and Kennedy are so excited to begin 3rd grade next year. I am so grateful to be seeing and healthy so that I could be there to watch them receive their awards and participate in sports & the talent show. I am also thankful to not be the pirate all the time or not feeling well because I know that was so confusing for little Landon.

So thank you and thank God for all the many blessing my life has been given in health, happiness and family. I am not deserving but so grateful. I will continue to research, read and advocate for others with chronic illness. I have made so many friends along this journey and reignited friendships that had become distant. I know that right now I am a lucky one. I hope for 10 more years of this disease remaining quiet but if it doesn't at least I am better equipped now to handle the process. I have a wonderful support system, a loving husband and children & my doctors are continually looking at how to continue to maintain my vision with the least evasive procedures and minimal down time.

I hope you have all had a wonderful year as well! :) As always, I am a avid supporter of the Nancy Davis Foundation and their work. I enjoy the opportunities I have been given to guest blog with them and to witness their HUGE contributions to education & research. If you are not familiar with the organization, you can find it here: erasems.org

Love the life you live...

Sarah

Constant reminders in life; What is a Friend?

friend  (frnd)

n.

1. A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.

2. A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.

3. A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.

4. One who supports, sympathizes with, or patronizes a group, cause, or movement: friends of the clean air movement.

5. Friend A member of the Society of Friends; a Quaker.

tr.v. friend·ed, friend·ing, friends

1. To add (someone) as a friend on a social networking website.

2. Archaic To befriend.

Sometimes we need a friend, sometimes we are a friend, and someone times we are reminded of who are friends really are.  I am not generally one of those people that says just anyone is my "friend". I love days when friendships are truly validated.  When you see actions or hear words that remind us why you love that person and value them in your life!  

Today was one of those days for me.  I have been so stressed and exhausted from the move and job search that I have not taken time to appreciate all the little things and be thankful for those I hold dear to me.  I have some of the best friends one could ask for.  Some friends I do not get to see as often as I would like, but when we are granted the opportunity we pick right back up as if a day has not passed.  

When I left my job at Scott Elementary last week I did not tell anyone goodbye.  The relationships I have forged with these women since 2009 are not all just work.  They were all part of the scariest time of my life and their support, love and prayers were invaluable.  I did not want to say goodbye because I am determined to maintain those relationships.  I know that it is hard to maintain friendships when you are not near each other every day. 

 Although I am not as good at it as I would like to be, I have tried to maintain communication with my friends from Kansas.  As we grow older and raise our children we tell stories of our childhoods... I wish my kids got to spend time with those I shared these memories with.  Just the other day I was showing them pictures of me, Elizabeth and Kasi showing sheep at the County Fair. They also saw pictures of me, Erin and Kim competing in our very first pageant.  These stories and pictures reminded me to reach out and connect with these people soon, because it had been too long! Thank goodness for Facebook!!

So, this summer I have a plan.  For starters, I am going to work on keeping in better touch with those I do not see often.  I am going to make sure that my friends here in Arkansas know I appreciate them for being a part of my life and that I do not take their friendship or support for granted.  Take a moment to appreciate your friends this summer!

Moving brings soooo many things out of me....

Well, my children and I are officially making the move back to White Hall, Arkansas!  Although I am very excited for what this next chapter in our life will bring, moving is about to do me in.  We are moving in to a house my parents own, and it is very old!  I love old houses, I think they have a ton of character.  But, to bring back some of its original charm (and shed some yuck) we decided to refinish the hard wood floors.  For anyone that has taken on this job themselves, you know exactly where I am going with this.  There is a reason people charge thousands of dollars to do this job... IT IS AWFUL!!!

In an effort of saving myself tons of $$ and to get to have the pride of saying "we did it"  I decided to tackle this job with the help of some of my loved ones.  Matt, his Dad, my brother, my Mom and myself have spent the past two weeks ripping out carpet, pulling tack strips and staples, and now sanding.  My hands are cut, my fingers hurt, and every time I blow my nose it is full of saw dust. Yes, I am a whiner. These floors best be beautiful I tell ya!!

Working all week and dedicating months of weekends to moving is not only taking its toll on me physically, but emotionally as well I have decided.  I am becoming irritated, stressed and panicked!  Although I know everything that has to be finished to move in will be complete in time, it still hasn't prevented me from experiencing all of the above mentioned emotions.  Not to mention I am a teacher, and this is by far the busiest time of year for me with records and portfolios.  Oh, and did I fail to mention I have to pack up my classroom as well???  Since I am not returning to Scott next year this requires me to pack up the past 3 years of my classroom stuff.  It's official, I am insane.

So I guess the point of all this is that I am in serious need of prayer and patience right now.  I am trying my best to go with the flow but that does not always come easy to me.  I will be thankful to be finally living in one house, not in between two.  I am looking forward to being close to Matt and right down the road from my Mom and Dad (I hope they share this excitement!).  And most importantly, I really hope my health cooperates with me... I really don't have time for a flare up or vision problem right now! So... "say a little prayer for me!" Project for this weekend... Move Matt to his new house and staining my floors.  Pictures and update soon!


Here are some photos of our projects....

 

Round #1 of Sanding in the Living Room

 (you can see how dark they started over by my Mom's feet)

Round #2 Sanding - Dining Room

Finished Sanding - Dining Room (trim not complete yet!)

Spring, Kids, Health & Fun!

I hope that everyone is enjoying Spring!! Here in Arkansas we decided to skip winter so it has been Spring-like for several months now.  I am just hoping this is not an indicator that we are going to have a miserable summer.

Many things are going very well for my little family right now.  The twins are wrapping up the 1st Grade and I am happy to report they both made the Honor Roll again this week.  If they could just quit talking back to their Momma all would be grand! We are also preparing to move to a new house down the street from my parents.  Although it has been a lot of hard work, we are all very excited about the move.

My health has also stabilized pretty well right now.  I had a severe "flare" a few days after Christmas that left me without vision for over a week.  However, they were able to clear up the blood and scar tissue to enable my vision to return.  We still do not have all of the answers as to "why" these bleeds occur, but one answer we do have is that it is associated with inflammation.  Ironically though, this flare occurred in my right eye.  The right eye has been quiet since my onset in Aug. 2010.  I guess it was feeling neglected and needed some attention!! So, I have had 2 surgeries to repair the damage from this "flare".  January 6 and April 16.  I have healed up fine though and am doing great!

Matt and I have been busy planning a summer trip.  My children have never been on what they consider a vacation before.  Whenever we have time away from school we usually visit my sister in KC or go to our Lake House.  But they want a car ride, hotel stay and the whole nine yards! So, I am excited to make that happen this summer.  I am pretty sure we are going to Branson to see some shows and play at Silver Dollar City.  I also think Horseback riding will be a must on the to-do list.  Kennedy is fascinated with horses these days. 

My last bit of business to report is that I have joined the Thirty-One team!! If you are not familiar with Thirty-One, it is amazing organizational products, purses, totes and thermal bags.  They make everything fun by adding the personal touch with embroidery or laser etching.  I have been a consultant for almost a month and it has been a lot of fun!  I decided to give this opportunity a try to help with some of my medical expenses and compensate for so many missed days of work & I will admit that I am already hooked!  If you would like to see the products, here is my link:

www.mythirtyone.com/sarahbrooke/

I hope everyone is enjoying the weather!!  I will be posting some of my flowers soon... they are almost all in bloom!!  Take care & love the life you live.

Sarah

Luke & Kennedy enjoying the first boat ride of the year!

Tough People Make Tough Decisions

October was a very difficult month for me.  Obviously that is the last time I blogged.  In October I underwent two separate eye surgeries and was once again taken off work from the job I love; teaching.  Being ill takes a toll on an individual as it is, but being off works adds additional stress that often one cannot control.  Regardless, I have much to be thankful for.  I spent the entire month of November updating my Facebook status daily for all of the things that I am thankful for.  Some of these items included my family, my sister, Matt, my friends and most of all my children.  These are the people that I cannot imagine my life without. But most importantly, I cannot imagine not being able to see any of these people again.  I despise having vision problems. Even more I despise the constant tests and medication.  I HATE taking all of these shots and pills.  And these are all the reasons I've silenced myself over the past few months.

I have been able to pride myself in one thing since I became ill and started this journey.  I was confident in overcoming my difficulties.  I was strong and courageous.  And most of all, I was extremely positive.  But for reasons unknown to me I have struggled these last 90 days to remain all of the above.  I have grown tired of the unknown and the scary reality.  I have lost my patience in being the case that no one seems to have an answer for.  I have grown tired of taking medicine that makes me incapable of feeling like myself. And, I have grown tired of fighting insurance companies.  I have grown tired of feeling dependent on others for survival.

So, now that I have all of that off of my chest I can begin to dig deep and find my happy again.  For a long time I had thought that finding out the why and hows of my diagnosis would help me find clarity and peace.  But now knowing that billions of dollars and hundreds of specialists may never provide me answers I must just gain acceptance.  After a visit with a new specialist in Dallas I have decided to discontinue some of the medications that I take that make me feel so terrible and center treatment to my eyes directly.  Although choosing this may put me at risk for additional surgery, I am willing to try.  I want to see my daughter's face light up when she sees me in the carpool line at school.  I want see my son's chapped lips and ornery grin.  I had my most recent round of Kenelog injections last Monday.  These injections restored my vision last year and I am counting on them again.  I have been unable to see out of my left eye since June and I am happy to report that it is beginning to clear.

If anyone ever gains anything from my writing I would hope that it is to not let life pass you by.  Be aware that there will be trying times but you can persevere. Pay forward kind deeds and show gratitude to those deserving.  Realize that everyone is entitled to a bad day.  Understand that sometimes a hug and an open ear is all someone needs.  And most importantly, don't just tell those you care about how you feel... show them.  Happy Holidays....

~love the life you live.

Reading IS NOT an Optional Life Skill

I love to read.  My parents were some of the lucky ones, two of their three children loved to read.  Although my love for reading lapsed in the middle school years, my mom and sister quickly turned me on to novels that captured my attention once again and I have never looked back since. So, I guess you could say I am one of the lucky ones too.  I have a interest in societies reading deficiencies not only because I am an educator but because I am a parent.  I see children struggle every day because reading is difficult for them.  Trouble with reading not only effects Language Arts development but also Math, Science and Social Studies as well.  All areas of learning are effected when a child struggles to read fluently and comprehend the material they have read.  So, hats off to Parents Magazine for presenting a well written and common sense approach to "Raising a Kid Who Loves to Read."

Parents Magazine brought together several famous children's book authors and asked them for advice on instilling a love for reading in children.  Here are some of the tips they gave, of course with my little summary in Sarahisms. lol

• 1. Plant the Seed - a.k.a. READ TO YOUR BABY!!  So as you may be aware, your infant could care less what you are saying to them, they just like to hear the sound of your voice.  Read to them every day to familiarize them with the connection between this thing you hold (a book) and your voice pattern.  They will begin to recognize words this way from very early on. 
• 2. Create Reading Rituals - Read to your child daily around the same time.  Good reading times are during wind down phases like naps or bed time. 
• 3. Bring Pictures to Life - Use this time to let your child's imagination run free!! Ask them what they see in the picture or even better have them predict the story from looking at the pictures alone.  Make a game of it to see how accurate they were when you have finished reading!! 
• 4. Look Past the Page - Let your child write their own book no matter how young they may be.  If a child can only draw pictures, have them tell you the story and you can write it for them or allow them to tell the story out loud to another relative or a friend.  Kids love to have center stage!!

I know we are all busy, but these are small things that we can easily implement in to our daily schedules.  I can look around my classroom and usually identify my students that have been read to as a child.  Not only do they share a passion for books, they are able to better understand what they are reading.  In addition, reading allows a child's imagination to run free.  Good readers usually equal good writers.  Writing is becoming a very important skill with standardized testing.... open responses are expected to be well written pieces that are produced in a short time frame, usually 15 to 30 minutes.  So, set your child up for success and READ, READ, READ!! :)

Saturdays are for.....

I have been thinking a lot about certain things since I was taken off work.  I guess when you have all of this extra time you really evaluate your life and how you manage it.  For example, I am a teacher.  This means that I wake up everyday around 5, get my kids to school at 7 and arrive at my own school before 8.  I teach all day, pack up my stuff to work on at home, pick up the twins from school and am home around 5.  This is a long day at work but then we have dinner, homework, baths and play time. So, by the time all of this winds down it is at least 8.  Kids in bed and I start my chores.  Laundry, dishes, grading papers, talking to my favorite people on the phone, etc...  I am excited to make it to bed by 10. This wears on you as the week goes on and you start putting household chores off.  Before you know it everything has been piled on to one day.... SATURDAY (or after church on Sunday)!!!  So, the time that was meant for relaxing and rest is now taken over by chores!! So, what can we do to fix this?? Organize.

I challenge everyone to continue to leave the weekend free for family and friends.  This is what I have tried to continue to do for quite some time.  Make a list of everything that needs to be accomplished throughout the week.  Schedule yourself a few things to accomplish each evening and do them before you go to bed.  That way, given no major complications or illness in the house, your place will be clean and cared for, laundry complete and your weekend will be full of more play than work!! Lets face it, our kids want to spend time with us.... that does not include watching us do chores or drag them all over town with the shopping.  Plan something that is just for them.  Best part, it doesn't even have to cost you anything.  Enjoy a local park, take a nature walk, or do crafts at home.  I think if we all accept this challenge our weekends will not only be more enjoyable, but a lot less stressful.  I am holding myself to this and I hope you will too.  I think we all work hard enough, take a little time to enjoy the ones you love the most or help another.

This weekend the Nida clan has a special project in store.  We are repairing a bicycle for a neighborhood kid that doesn't have one.  Luke and Kennedy are really good about sharing their bikes with him but I think it is time he has one of his own.  I found a free bike in good shape.  All it needs is new tubes and a bath.  :) This is a good learning experience for my kids and I know it will mean the world to Sam. All of this is much more rewarding than tedious household stuff and I get to teach my children the valuable lesson of doing for others.  No good deed goes unnoticed!! Have a great weekend and love the life you live!

Another Surgery Under My Belt!! - and a long overdue update!

So, I guess I have been on a blog vacation.  Although I absolutely love sharing my thoughts and experiences through my blog, I have been VERY busy since August.  For starters, the school year started and I was allowed to start the school year! I was bombarded the first part of August with 25 eager 4th graders that needed a lot of my time and attention inside and out of the classroom to start the year off right.  Second, my children are active 1st graders that seem to have one activity after another filling up our schedule.  Third, my sister and I planned a wonderful celebration in honor of our parents 40th wedding anniversary.  So, as you can see... my blog had to take a back seat for awhile.

My appointment in Memphis was amazing.  I was armed with a lot of new ideas and information.  The doctors there believe that yes I do have M.S. but that it may not be the only cause of my vision loss.  They began the process of attempting to identify if I have a rare disease or infection that I may have carried since childhood.  Since I have not traveled to a third world country, that eliminates a lot of ideas.  However, you would be amazed at how many things you could contract from domestic animals. I am pleased to confirm however that all of our family pets have been eliminated as suspects! lol  To further explain this, being a cat owner comes with several risks.  Cats can carry several diseases that may affect vision.  Although they are all treatable, they can be difficult to diagnose without very specific testing and blood work.  So, now that the animal route has been cleared we are still testing and sorting through ideas.

I was put on a new drug, it is called Methotrexate.  It is a oral drug that is widely used for the treatment of cancer and rheumatoid arthritis.  Since I have not been responding well to the use of steroids and they have been deemed ineffective at treating the inflammation on my left eye, they hope this medication will step in and work.  I also get another new doctor, a Rheumatologist, while taking this med and he is very informative and great. His job is to monitor my blood work to make sure that my liver and kidneys continue to function properly as I take this medication.

I had surgery this past Monday to remove a cataract in my right eye (the good eye) and I am pleased to report it was a great success!!  Although I have to be off work for a little while to heal from the surgery I can see 20/20 in distance vision from my right eye.  I have not been able to see distance for many years without the use of glasses or contacts.  The only drawback of the new lens that has been placed is that I lost my near vision.  I cannot read or see up close without readers. And, I can still see only light and movement from my left eye. So, I guess I will be like my mom and dad and be searching for my cheaters to read anything or see who is calling me on my phone!! Although I know I am addicted to texting, it has been awful to not be able to read or respond to my friends that have text to check on me!! I had my friend set up an automatic response today that said I cannot read texts. Tragic!  Hopefully as the eye heals I will be able to resume my communication with the outside world.  Here is a pic of my in my cool eye shield after surgery.  I know you are jealous of my hair net, but hey I am still smiling!

On a family note, my parents party was a great time!  I am proud that my parents have made it 40 years.  These days that seems to be hard to find.  It was great to gather with family and friends to celebrate this occasion.  The food was great and so was the company!  We even had friends from Kansas that made the trip!! So... congrats Mom and Dad, I love you both.  And, thank you to my wonderful sister... I loved planning this event with you and getting to spend some quality "sister time" together!

This is the key to making it 40 years... wear matching outfits!

Heading to Memphis!!

I have an exciting week ahead of me!  My eye specialist at Baptist Eye Center has referred me to University of Tennessee Medical Center where I will see a uveitis specialist there.  As a recap for those of you that have followed my story.  I had surgery in February to remove my steroid injections and alleviate the high pressures in my left eye that had caused glaucoma.  This problem was a side effect of a reaction to steroid Kenelog injections.  I did well following the surgery for about 3 months.  May 12th I had a flare up similar to my presentation of the disease.  The inflammation had returned to the eye and optic nerve as well as the bleeding. However, no progression was evident on my MRI.  I began to take I.V. and oral steroids.  When I had almost completed my steroid taper at the end of June, I had another flare up.  This flare up resulted in complete vision loss (can only see lights and shadows) in my left eye, extreme inflammation and "goopy matter" (as my doctor calls it!! lol).  For one reason or another, this flare up has not responded to topical steroids (eye drops) or pills.  So, my doctors here in Little Rock have decided it is time for another opinion.  The concerns at this time are:

1.  I am not responding to Oral or Topical Steriods.

2.  If I have another flare up and it effects the right eye, I may be without vision in either eye again.

3.  My stomach needs time to heal from the high dose steroids.  

So, I am excited to have another person look at my case and hopefully gain some new insight and information.  Who know... maybe he will have seen a case just like mine and have a new solution!! So say a little prayer for me tomorrow for a great appointment and safe travels. I will post later this week to fill you in on my appointment!! Love the life you live..... Sarah :)

M.S. Education Monday: Sharing my Thoughts

In June, the Nancy Davis Foundation; erasems.org, sponsored an essay contest entitled "I have M.S. but M.S. does not have me."  Patients from across the globe shared their stories hoping not only to inspire but help educate others on the trials and triumphs people with this disease face.  Although I did not enter the contest, I thought I would share what I would have submitted with my friends and followers.

I Have M.S. but M.S. does not have ME!

By: Sarah Brooke Nida, June 2011 (diagnosed August 2010)

I am a mother. I am a daughter. I am a friend. I am a teacher. I have M.S. However, M.S. does not have me!!  I have believed since day one of this journey that I would not allow this disease to define who I am or who I will become.  I have chose to view this as a bump in the road on my "journey of life".  Although Multiple Sclerosis could be the scariest adventure for me yet, I am prepared to accept the challenge and hopefully conquer in the end. 

I have made the decision to not live in fear and to accept the reality of this new journey.  Losing my sight was by far the last thing I thought I would ever endure.  When I would think about possible bad things to happen to me, going blind was never one of them.  I took my health, my vision and my freedom for granted.  I watched the world pass by me without taking a moment to enjoy the view and truly take it all in.  Now that I have been blessed with the return of my sight, I will never take these simple moments for granted. 

I will spend my days not only educating myself, but others on the disease, the effects on the patient and their family.  I will become an activist for those fighting that are unable to do so.  I will walk and run and throw my hands in the air with excitement.... BECAUSE I CAN!!  I will spin my children around in the front yard and carry them in my arms knowing that I am one of the lucky ones.  I am lucky to walk on my own two feet and feel everything around me. M.S. may have taken some of my sight, but it sure has not taken me.  

I will continue to find the humor in the times I forget something or have to ask what the t.v. screen says.  I will take my shot and pray that it continues to work for me.  I will spend hours in the waiting room at every doctors appointment and continue to remind myself... I am lucky to be alive.  My diagnosis was an awakening of sorts for me.  I see the world and those around me in a completely different light.  I am more confident, grateful and most importantly content with who I am and who I will become.  I am not a label or a statistic.  I am Sarah Brooke and I have M.S., but M.S. most certainly does not have me. 

A true example of strength...

Tonight I watched the amazing story of an incredible person; Jaycee Dugard.  I was overcome with several emotions through this two hour story.  Emotions of heart break, sadness and sheer anger all flooded me as I listened to not only her journey, but her mothers. I am instantly inspired when I hear of people who have overcome terrible situations in their life and surprisingly walk away with an optimistic and joyous outlook.

Jaycee's story offer good life lessons.  Take time to enjoy the simple things.  Hate serves no meaningful purpose.  Life each day to the fullest.  Never give up.  Never stop loving those who deserve it.  Take time to kiss your kids, no matter how busy you are or if you will be five minutes late to work.  These are just a few of the phrases I jotted down as I watched.  I cannot wait to read her book and learn more about her strength and determination.

I hope that all of you will take the time to reflect on your life and just how lucky we all are.  No matter the situation we face, it could always be worse.  Illness, divorce, death, financial issues, unemployment, etc... all cause us to question not only our faith but our attitude.  We must always remember that every day in life has a purpose.  Even if it seems to be the worst day you've faced most likely there is a lesson to be learned or a unexpected miracle waiting on the other side.  Take time to enjoy your family, love your kids and appreciate the wonderful things in life.  With a little but of patience and a lot of hard work we all can take time to "Live each day to the fullest, whatever that day may bring." (J. Dugard)

Click purchase to buy her book from Amazon.com                                  Purchase  

The sweet smell of.... Freedom

Well, I have been absent from blogging lately. For those of you that follow my blog, I apologize.  But, I have been working on personal projects and spending as much time as possible with my children on their short summer break!!  So, I though there was no better day than this one to share my thoughts!

Freedom is something we all take for granted.  Freedom comes in all shapes, sizes and forms.  For America, this is the day that we declare our Independence.  For some, this may be the day they celebrate their freedom from an array of many different things. For me, this is the week that I declare my Independence from my children for the next four days!! Haha!! For all you mother's out there, I know you can understand my excitement.  I will be working for the next several days so my kids will be enjoying some fun in the sun!!

Being a single mother comes with many rewards and many sacrifices.  It is important for me I have noticed to have some much needed time to "re-group" and "re-energize".  I can tell when I start to lose my patience and compassion to the twins sensitivity and needs. But, when you deal with the constant arguments and complaining for weeks you tend to perfect the art of tuning out!! So needless to say, these little breaks from my reality are much needed.  Although I am glad that I do not have to share my time with my ex-husband, I am VERY happy to share my time with my family! :)

So, what does this Freedom holiday bring to you?? I hope whatever it is... it brings you a smile to your face!! We only get one chance to do this so... Love the life you live!!  More to come soon... I have lots to tell you about from the past month!

What should be a defining moment?

I have had many moments in my life that I felt defined me as a person.  I think that lately I have just had a lot of time to decide what I am going to allow to define who I am and what I am not.  For those of you that have followed my blog over the past few months may know that I am a Maria Shriver fan.  I really love her book entitled "Ten Things I Wish I'd Known..." I am sure that if Maria were to write that book today one of her ten things may have changed.  I wonder would she have changed her chapter about marriage to a chapter entitled "do not trust your husband".

Please do not think I am a man hater, but trust does not come easy to me.  I know now that I made mistakes before I ever got married.  There were several warning signs that I chose to ignore.  I refer to this as lessons learned.  However, I think Maria had it figured out and even her marriage was not safe.  For example, #4 on her list was that "Your Behavior has Consequences".  She states several times through that chapter that no one is responsible for your choices as an adult but YOU.  #5, "Be Willing to Fail", personally or professionally.  And last but not least, #8, "Marriage is a Hell of a lot of Work".  (Sidenote, she wrote this book in 2000).

So, why do I care? Well I just like a good story like most people and this headline of Arnold's dual life has quite frankly pissed me off.  Maria is a well accomplished woman, and not just by birth-rite.  She was not afraid to fail, to fall in love, or even challenge public opinion.  And even with this recent tragedy she has held her head up high, publicly supported her children and continued to uphold her classy reputation.  So, I hope this is not a defining moment in her life to others... I would hate to think that if we Google her ten years from now that one of the first things we see is "Arnold cheats on Maria with chubby housekeeper and makes love child outside of his picture perfect marriage."   

But on a happy note... the new season of the Bachelorette started today!!! Love it! I will post about my favorites later this week! :)

  

What do you know about Vitamin D?

There is so many important benefits of Vitamin D.  As I continue my education on factors that can cause the development of M.S., many studies show significant signs that Vitamin D is more important that we ALL may realize.   So, I thought I would share a little information with my friends!

Most people assume that the purpose of an adequate amount of Vitamin D is only related to bone health. However, Vitamin D has effects on many tissues and might worsen or even cause many medical conditions (including M.S.).  But before you run to purchase some supplements, understand that blood tests are necessary to evaluate your Vitamin D levels.

Vitamin D regulates calcium absorption which helps maintain bone health.  Recent studies have discovered that "D" effects other tissues however and has has important effects on nerve, muscle and immune cells.  Vitamin D deficiency has been associated with increased risk of diabetes, rheumatoid arthritis, heart disease, multiple forms of cancer and infertility.

So who needs to be concerned? Well, I suggest that women ask for this simple screening at their next "yearly" physical.  Do no use supplements blindly because supplements do come with a risk.  Long-term high doses of "D" could lead to the risk of certain cancers or impaired kidney function. Allow your doctor to gauge if you need additional Vitamin D and how much.  And, this dosage may need to be adjusted as the seasons change.  Why you ask? Vitamin D is the "sunshine" vitamin.  Sun exposure allows your body to make its own Vitamin D.

People with MS should stay informed with the rapidly changing information regarding the effects of Vitamin D and how it could improve your general health.  And, due to the possibility of the preventative effect of Vitamin D on inherited risk of MS, people with MS should talk to their family members, siblings and their children about having their Vitamin D levels screened regularly.

For more information, read more online at nationalmssociety.org/magazine
"Vitamin D: Dastardly, Dandy or Debatable? by A.C. Bowling MD, PhD"

Its just a bump in the road....

Well I have sat here in my home since Tuesday deciding whether or not I wanted to blog about this weeks events.  Two things were haunting me...
1. I don't want anyone to pity me.
2. I do not want to accept the reality of the situation.
But, I have found that I gain great insight and release from writing.  It has been so therapeutic for me and I receive compliments regularly so I decided to go ahead and write.

On Friday I began to see a circle in my eye.  I thought it was strange so I called the doctor.  Since I had a routine appointment scheduled for Monday they said to not worry and we would take a look on Monday since I was feeling fine.  So, I went to my appointment and heard the words I never wanted to hear again.  "Sarah, it is happening again."  All I could come up with to respond was, "Ok."  When my doctor said it was happening again what he was saying was that my brain was bleeding into optic cavity, my optic nerve was inflamed and that there were cells clouding the vision of the left eye.  In one week, my vision in the left eye had reduced from 20/55 to 20/100.

Several factors were surrounding what course of treatment would be the best option for this "relapse".  If you recall, I had surgery to remove the Kenelog steroids in February because they had caused me to develop Glaucoma.  Although I am fully healed from the operation, the doctors determined this would be their last resort.  The second option was to put me on high dose oral and i.v. steroids.  And this is exactly what they decided.

So, I have received i.v. steroids (Solumedrol) and are taking oral steroids (Prednisone) for 6 to 8 weeks to gain control of the inflammation and allow my body to absorb the bleed.  These methods were highly effective for me in August and I am very optimistic they will be this time as well.  I just need to maintain a positive attitude so that I do not let my emotions take control of my situation.

I knew when I was diagnosed with M.S. that this disease came with flare-ups, annoyances, pain, a ton a medicine, and many other complications.  I guess I was just hoping I would be that case that didn't have a flare up for years and responded miraculously to treatment.  However, I am grateful to still be fully functional and independent.  My children love me no matter how I feel or what is happening with me.  Please love the life you live.... you never know what can happen tomorrow.

Mom offers a good reminder...

So I was talking to my mom on the phone while I was trying to decide about taking off work for  my children's field day.  After all, this is there 1st Field Day at their new school but I had a few obstacles before I could just make the decision.  First, my school was supposed to go skating.  What substitute in their right mind is going to take my crew skating??? Second, I had used all of my paid time off when I was on medical leave so it was going to cost me. Then my mom reminds me, "I think it is important that Luke and Kennedy know that sometimes they come before your job." AHA! Mom is right.... We always knew we came before her job.  We called 400 times a day, rode our bikes and then eventually drove our cars to her office for absolutely no reason. It never seemed to phase us that she was working but she would kick us out of the clinic when she was really busy.  So the moral of this post is that my kids come second to my 22 "other kids" enough.  They deserve to have their Mom at Field Day!

I will post pics later, they are having a "All Around the World" theme.  Each class will be presenting a production from another country.  Luke will be performing an Australian Dance.... this ought to be good.  Kennedy couldn't seem to remember what her class was performing??!!  Obviously she wasn't very interested in participating!!

Love the life you live....

Its not just rain... its an all out FLOOD!!

Arkansas has had some very interesting weather over the past few weeks.  First, we started off with a few tornado's, terrible wind, and hail.  Then, it began raining.... and has not really stopped since last week.  Thankfully today was bright and sunny and we all received some much needed Vitamin D.  I am one of those people who is effected by gloomy days.  My mood tends to get a little gloomy too.  So, as all of us Arkansans wait for the river to crest to see what happens next, I guess I will look at all of this weather with the glass half full attitude and be thankful we are no longer in a drought??!!??

Here are some pics that are my favorite examples of Arkansas's weather devastation:

I don't think this Cavalier works as a boat....

The river runs through it.... So sad.

So, as you sit and reflect about whatever kind of day you had... just be thankful that it is not your car overtaken by water or your town washed away by the river. Love the life you live... and by all means, try not to sweat the small stuff!

Childhood Dating... Twin Humor

So everyone that knows me well knows that I am easily amused.  My students and children are aware of this as well and love to delight me with their thoughts and revelations often.  One subject that cracks me up the most about kids is their concept of "Dating".  For starters, I am a Fourth Grade teacher.  Fourth graders are always "going out" or "dating" someone.  And I always am the fun hater that cracks jokes at them about not being able to drive or pay for their dates dinner.  They think I am ridiculous.... oh well, it gives me great laughs.  So, now the fun gets to start with my own children.  Luke has amazing taste in who he chooses to go out with.  My sons current "girlfriend" is my friend Lindsay.  Lindsay has won this honor by having a job, a car and a house.  Awesome! He has his priorities in line.  Kennedy has recently parted ways with her long time boyfriend, my friend who she refers to as "Uncle Nathan" for our neighbor Amilio.  Amilio is older, wiser and has a Wii.  (Sidenote: Amilio is 7.) HAHA! So, just when I think I am safe that the real dating is only going on with the older kids who can navigate chat on the Internet and have the smarts to work a cell phone, my reality crashes.  My son reveals to me that he and his friends have "devised a plan" to break someone up. WHAT??? I was very impressed with his use of vocabulary with the word devise but was shocked about the breakup issue.  So, me being the nosey nellie I am asked for the details of this plan.  Unfortunately he said all the details had not been worked out yet.  Thank you Luke for supplying your mother with a funny story and another great laugh.

So, I have asked myself over the past week why I find all this "dating" so amusing.  Is this because I am the girl who is always single?  I think that I find the humor because not only have I experienced the happy times of relationships, I have also experienced the hurt that comes with them.  I find no reason for these kids to open themselves up for hurt feelings and broken hearts.  I wish that they could focus on the awesome gift of friendship and education and save the partner search for a much later date!! Well, I am a realist than knows this is unlike.. so I will continue to wear my counselor hat for the five or six breakups that I will referee after recess in my near future! :) 

Love the life you live....

M.S. Walk 2011 - Came, Went, Conquered!!

Well I am so pleased to announce that I have officially completed my first M.S. Walk since my diagnosis.  I look forward to participating in this event for many years to come!! First, here is a pic of me and my wonderful girls that came out to support me this year:

 The day started off with a light breakfast, a Zumba warm-up, the national anthem, and a wonderful presentation. The presentation was to recognize the top fundraiser of the event.  Over the past 12 years he has raised $250,000 for the M.S. Foundation.  I was in complete awe at this total.  I worked so hard to raise money and I barely made it to $700! Whatever way you look at it, fundraising is tough.  I admire his ability to contribute so much to the cause.

The walk was not what I had expected it to be I must say.  I think when you have participated in the Race for the Cure for several years you imagine it to be similar. This was not a 5k by any means... we may have walked close to a mile.  However, I loved that everyone affected by Multiple Sclerosis was able to participate. Whether confined to a chair, using a cane or able to walk on your own - all were able to complete the walk with ease.  I admired that about the event.

In closing, I am thankful to those who came to support me, those who donated to the cause and those who bought a team t-shirt.  I am very lucky to be surrounded by friends, family and co-workers who are here to "lift me up" those days that I need it the most.  I am a very lucky girl.

Small Compliment = One Happy Girl

For months I have been talking about bettering myself for many different reasons.  There are certain things in my life that I have made a priority since I lost my vision and was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis.  Any traumatic experience usually brings people to re-evaluate their life.  For me however, I wanted to make a conscious effort to better my life and my children's.  I started with little things, I made a list of 20 Wishes.  I keep these wishes nearby in my mind as I make decisions.  The most important things in my life of course are my children, my family, my health, my close friends and my students.  I want to be the best me that I can and that required me to eliminate a lot of the unnecessary stress.  I am usually attached to my cell phone and for years it has distracted my attention.  My sister and I spent this past week together and today on my way home she complimented me.  She noticed that I spent my time focused on my and my children and not on communication with the outside world.  I know to some that might not seem like much, but that is something I have worked hard to resolve.  So thanks sis for noticing my "little improvements" on the road to my happy!  So at least this is one little way that I can say I am practicing what I preach and "loving the life I live."  :)