Well I have sat here in my home since Tuesday deciding whether or not I wanted to blog about this weeks events. Two things were haunting me...
1. I don't want anyone to pity me.
2. I do not want to accept the reality of the situation.
But, I have found that I gain great insight and release from writing. It has been so therapeutic for me and I receive compliments regularly so I decided to go ahead and write.
On Friday I began to see a circle in my eye. I thought it was strange so I called the doctor. Since I had a routine appointment scheduled for Monday they said to not worry and we would take a look on Monday since I was feeling fine. So, I went to my appointment and heard the words I never wanted to hear again. "Sarah, it is happening again." All I could come up with to respond was, "Ok." When my doctor said it was happening again what he was saying was that my brain was bleeding into optic cavity, my optic nerve was inflamed and that there were cells clouding the vision of the left eye. In one week, my vision in the left eye had reduced from 20/55 to 20/100.
Several factors were surrounding what course of treatment would be the best option for this "relapse". If you recall, I had surgery to remove the Kenelog steroids in February because they had caused me to develop Glaucoma. Although I am fully healed from the operation, the doctors determined this would be their last resort. The second option was to put me on high dose oral and i.v. steroids. And this is exactly what they decided.
So, I have received i.v. steroids (Solumedrol) and are taking oral steroids (Prednisone) for 6 to 8 weeks to gain control of the inflammation and allow my body to absorb the bleed. These methods were highly effective for me in August and I am very optimistic they will be this time as well. I just need to maintain a positive attitude so that I do not let my emotions take control of my situation.
I knew when I was diagnosed with M.S. that this disease came with flare-ups, annoyances, pain, a ton a medicine, and many other complications. I guess I was just hoping I would be that case that didn't have a flare up for years and responded miraculously to treatment. However, I am grateful to still be fully functional and independent. My children love me no matter how I feel or what is happening with me. Please love the life you live.... you never know what can happen tomorrow.