Monday, January 17, 2011

MS Education Monday - What is MS to me?

For the past few weeks I have given a lot of general information about Multiple Sclerosis, its treatments, symptoms, etc.  So today, I thought I would take the opportunity to discuss what MS currently means to me and the impact it bears on my life. One of the most important things for people to understand is that MS comes in all shapes and sizes.  You can line up 20 MS patients and they all might share different symptoms or difficulties.  I find this to be one of the reasons people have so much trouble understanding or accepting the disease. 

For me, Multiple Sclerosis is a scary, life changing pain in the butt.  To wake up blind is an indescribable feeling.  I have never been so confused or nervous. For days I thought all of this was a bad dream.  To be diagnosed with MS was alarming, yet a huge relief.  I had spent a week being a lab rat to several doctors and technicians who were working desperately to figure out why a healthy 29 year old female woke up and was bleeding in her brain causing extreme vision loss.  No car wreck, infectious disease, traumatic injury, nothing.  Just a pure phenomenon. But, finally my vision began to restore in small increments and stabilized about a month ago.  Although I cannot see perfectly, I am able to see well enough out of one eye to drive.  The only other symptoms I currently have are numbness in my left hand, tons of bruises from injections,  inflammation in my brain and optic nerve and a slight blood leak in my left eye.  All of which are able to be kept under control with medication and injection therapy. So that is what I am dealing with these days!

On a personal level, MS has been a blessing for me.  I am closer to the friends that I should be, have let go of frienships that were unhealthy for me to maintain any longer, and left me with an even stronger relationship to my sister.  My mother has been given another reason to get to mother me, my brother has yet another nick name for me (Ray Ray) and my dad has been the man he always is... great.  I never though I would ever be given the reason to ask someone if they would still love me if I were blind, could not walk or be the same me I always have been.  I guess now I know that if I find someone who is willing to accept me, my beautiful children and my illness, they must be one hell of a person!! So never take life for granted, live each day to the fullest and take a moment to see everything around you as a blessing.... Love the life you live. 

Here are some pics of the injections I recieve... in case you're curious :)
Pretty gross, but kind of cool. LOL

Kenalog Injections

Copaxone Injection Site

1 comment:

  1. Good post. Too bad we as humans require something bad to happen to be able to find the good. It is certainly a challenge to live each day to the fullest and focus on more glass half full than empty.